The art of procrastination

The art of procrastination…..

Procrastination is a talent that takes years of fine tuning to master. All the following are examples of procrastination technique that I have come accustomed to:

· Sneaking in a nap …. All the while ignoring the 9+ hours of sleep I had the night before.

· Giving into the strange urge to paint my finger and toe nails with white out…

· Doing some “extra research” on the internet… and ending up on facebook for hours looking at friends’ photo albums of creepy family relatives.

· Taking a phone call from my mother, because answering her phone calls are always important and time consuming….

· Cleaning my bathroom.

· Matching socks together in my sock drawer.

· Taking a bath or shower so long that my fingers prune

· Writing a list of songs that I keep on forgetting to download from iTunes

· Braiding random sections of my hair

· Eating old breath mints that I found at the bottom of my purse until I become sick to my stomach.

Please note that the above mentioned activities transpire just hours and sometimes minutes before a project must be completed. Subsequently, procrastination helps you hone in on your skills for working under pressure.

Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance is bliss in the world that I maintain.

While at happy hour last night, a colleague of mine, in the mists of a drunken slur admitted to me that he was miserable in his marriage. In Lou of this I had always admire the type of gentleman he was, all the while factoring into the equation the perfect family with the pretty wife, two adorable well behaved children and I am sure a amazingly obedient chocolate lab. Regardless, why did my colleague decide to share this bit of information with me, shattering any existence of hope I had for a having a picture perfect family of my own…including the 3 bedroom ranch with a freshly painted white picket fence.

Why, Why, Why??????

So don’t tell me that my milk is expired in my refrigerator after I have had my 2nd bowl of cereal. Don’t tell me that the little girl that I sponsor in Africa to go to school by donating $5 a year is really a 35 year old corporate attorney in California. Don’ tell me that the Coca Cola polar bear is not as sweet as he looks and would naturally maul me to death for trying to give him a huge cuddly hug… And lastly, don’t tell me that you are miserable existing in your picture perfect family. I just don’t want to know.

In my world….ignorance is bliss…

The Language of Annie…..

My boyfriend and I have many debates on whether or not what I say makes any sense… I can admit my dictation is not always accurate… So what if I often stop in the middle of a sentence to start another sentence of another thought. Or I annunciate a syllable or two incorrectly!!

This my dears is understood by Charlie as the “Annie Language”

The reality is I have learned to accept that only a few specifies in our kingdom are fluent in the language of Annie…. Meaning that they can read, write and better yet… translate “Annie Language” to other specifies…. For instance, my brother Christopher and Charlie have mastered my language and of course the late “Bandito.” (My dog Bandit…RIP my little man!!!!). Anyway, Christopher and Charlie are practically scholars of the language…. Slowly you will see that many people are now starting to study and adapt to the language of Annie…

Unfortunately, my boyfriend (being a diction king that he is) still has trouble accommodating or understanding the language in which I have always been fluent in. Perhaps I should understand his concern with lowering ones IQ when one practices the language of Annie...

However....

Realistically speaking....

Why should I change or correct any of my annoying nuances when everyone around me tolerates them?

Boys with Drinks

So the debate that I wish to start my blog off with is "Boys with drinks."


The questions is...Is it OK to accept a drink from a boy at a bar when you have no intention of hooking up. Charlie my spinster best friend and I after returning from outside a Bar in Mo-town ran into 2 very tall and charming men. Charlie and I are very much different, however, one of the only things we have in common is being completely and utterly consumed in serious long distant relationships... Given that our B.F.s left us behind for careers....we find the need to "sex and the city" for the night ...(without the sex)... So that we could enjoy some drinks and a lot of poorly executed dance moves. Needless to say, 2 very nice, but obnoxious Philly boys decided to take it upon themselves to buy us a drink.... After such drinks were consumed we darted out to meet up with the group of friends we originally came with. Here is the kicker... I never admitted that I had a boyfriend (I couldn't get a word in edgewise).... and left one such Philly boy, inadvertently graze my ass with his hand...Not once, not twice but thrice times. Needless to say my exit of conversation, was right after round 3 with Philly hand and my ass cheek... Now when laughing about such situation on Sunday with my brother on the way over to a Superbowl party...My brother mentioned that men do not buy drinks for girls unless they plan to sleep with them. Am I just naive to believe that shivery is not dead.... and that tight quarters in a busy, crowded bar...call for some inappropriately, unintentional grazing.... The reality is, single or in a relationship....I would never accept drinks from boys.......if sex as repayment is expected So should I be afraid of Boys with Drinks????